It Drove Us Apart

I’m writing this on the back of my boarding pass, I left my notebook at home.

God, I miss him.

I think I’m crazy to, but I do.

My nails are painted black with silver sparkles.

I feel black with silver sparkles.

I feel dead with flashes of hope, happiness, human.

I’m afraid we’ll hit rain.

I keep sipping my water.

It’s killing my stomach.

I haven’t eaten since, well, more than twenty-four hours.

…

I nearly choked on an ice cube.

I was okay with choking.

I WAS OKAY.

I mean, I wasn’t happy, but I wouldn’t have minded…

God, I’m sick.

I’m lying to myself, again.

Like always.

I’m not alright; I miss him too much.

We can’t be friends though.

We can’t.

It was going to happen, I knew that.

I just wish it hadn’t happened so soon.

Damn, it was completely pointless.

I got two hours of sleep last night, because of him.

I cried too long.

I didn’t cry enough.

I think I made myself cry.

I wanted to feel sad.

The clouds look funny.

The sky is hazy, dotted, making a confusing map of the land below.

I’m watching this chick pick at a hangnail. It’s annoying.

I’m going somewhere different.

Not new. But different.



I’m on the front now.

Writing over the “AirTran” logo.

Such a teenager thing, I know.

During my layover in Atlanta I’ll buy a journal or something.

I’m listening to ‘On the Wing’ by Owl City.

Ha. This song.

Just thinking of it makes me shake my head.

I listened to this for hours after me and Evan, er- Evan and I?

Nah, never mind.

He’s not even real anymore.



We’re back on.

Went to lunch in Atlanta, at the Chili’s in the airport.

Damn flight attend-er people keep interrupting my “complimentary XM”

I feel sick again.

I just finished reading My Secret.

Some were so sad.

Those were the ones that were, are mine.

My secrets.

We’re taking off.

CRASH!

Add some excitement.

And we’re off...

Look at all of the idiots stuck in Atlanta traffic.

The lady in front of me, over to the left, makes her three’s the same way I do.

CLUB PIRATE!

Club Peer-awe-tee

Well, I guess I feel more cheerful. Ish.

I’m not.

At all.

Freakin’ Lemon Meringue Tie.

Makes me depressed.

But hey.

I’m actually feeling it, I think.

Plus one for inhuman freaks (:

…I don’t know why I fight for you this way…



I guess I should start feeling happy.

This is vacation.

Ugh.

I’m not going to make it.

…

I just realized it.

I don’t think I really care.

I think the only reason I freaked out so much was because I needed to, I wanted to.

I wanted to care about something.

I convinced myself that that was it.

He was it.

I chose to obsess over him, just like he did with me.

We had so much more in common than we thought.

We had some much in common that it drove us apart.

HELLO SEATTLE!